Donald Trump Jokes
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Why is Donald Trump so mad? Because he is a Trumpet!
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
When is Donald Trump?