Donald Trump Jokes
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."
What's the difference between Trump and a Cheez-It cracker?
The cracker is naturally orange.
Trump and Anakin Skywalker have something in common: they’ve both killed a lot of sand people.
How much is McDonald's on a hot day?
Trump cut the company's advertising spending on Spotcom by 25%.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
I think DJT has FTD.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.