Treatment jokes

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.

It’s called Trycoxagain.

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweet-ment!

Welcome to youtube.com.

Where we treat our patients nicely.

Hi.

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?

Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

What is the difference between me and cancer?

My mom did beat cancer.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

What's a cancer patient's favorite food?

Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy

Q: Why are medication pills white?

A: Because they work.

How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.

Light it up blue 🔵

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"