What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bath tub? -Throw in some laundry...
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back Apparently that’s insensitive to someone during chemo
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Did you hear about the new pixar movie, it's about cancer patients. It's called finding Kemo
You here about the roman numeral hospital
All they have is IVs!
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
