Treatment jokes

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

What meds do snakes with ADHD take?

Adder-all.

Q: Why are medication pills white?

A: Because they work.

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?

Reload and keep firing!

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.

What creature takes the most medicine?

Caterpillar.

What is the difference between me and cancer?

My mom did beat cancer.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.