A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What the difference between me and cancer
My mom did beat cancer
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Man Cancer is so easy to beat, I'm already on stage 4
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do we want?!
A CURE FOR TOURETTES!!
When do we want it?!
CUNT!!!
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer
