Treatment jokes
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.