Transportation jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a bus.

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.

Why did the cat cross the road?

To make a catastrophy on the road.

A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.

What is an orphan's favorite car?

A family car.

What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.

How do fish get to school?

On a octobus.

Lol.

Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.

Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱

So my bus... goodness.

What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?

I AM keeping Trak!

My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

What's the difference between me and a bus?

I'm not on fire...