Transportation jokes

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

A lion would never drive while drunk.

But a tiger wood.

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?

Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"