Transportation jokes
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What do you call a bus going backwards? A sub.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.