Transportation jokes
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
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What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Open wide, here comes the airplane!
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.
I was just lying about the wheels.
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.