Transportation jokes
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
Hey Hunter, Thomas here.
Why did the plane cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
What is your car's name?
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
Yeeeeeeeet!
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."