Transportation jokes
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Kart! (DYM 151)
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.