Transportation jokes

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..

Hot Wheels.

Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiot's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.

A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?

A woman.

You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.

What's the difference between a fish and a car?

You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.

"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.

What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?

"Where do you live?"

What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘?

A car can drive, and a tree 🌳 cannot drive.