Transportation jokes
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?
Was your birthday?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
Your hairline looks like a car!
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.