Transportation jokes
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
My dick hard.
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.