Transportation jokes
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."