Transportation jokes
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
You might think these jokes are plane.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.