Transportation jokes
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.