Transportation jokes
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?
East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
You might think these jokes are plane.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.