Transportation jokes
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.