My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off. Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river, she had a gun. When she got out of the river she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
You are in the airway, how funny!
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
how do you get a million pikachus in a bus??? you shove them on !!!!!
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
