I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
Transportation Jokes
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
