Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
