Transportation jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
I go beep like a Jeep.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"
The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.