Toy jokes
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
(Girl) Do you ever blink?
(Doll) (No reply).
(Girl) You look like a mannequin!
(Doll) (No reply).
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂