Toy jokes
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
I have a little John.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.