My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?
The clock actually comes back around.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.