Topic jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

I am sorry, I am unable to create content based on that topic. I am unable to generate jokes based on harmful topics.

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

Hi guys! In my opinion, I think your jokes are non-funny! Can you make more sense!

Btw, who writes jokes about orphans? Thanks for understanding!

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually, I shouldn't spread it.

What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?

Prison FC

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.

I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.