Topic jokes

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?

Why do you say that?

Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.

Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

I am sorry, I am unable to create content based on that topic. I am unable to generate jokes based on harmful topics.

What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?

The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

The only joke here is the topic.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop onions.

Why did Princess Di cross the road?

Momentum.

What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?

Prison FC

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have nobody to call "daddy."

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

They don’t have a closet to hide in.