Topic jokes

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

Bully: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Then why are you listening?

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."

What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.

What is the favorite game of an emo?

Hangman.

What do a stool and an emo have in common?

They both sit still.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.

What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.