Yo mama so fat...
She's the iceberg who sunk the Titanic!
Worst Jokes Ever
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
