Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
I’m not racist. I just have black guns.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.