Worst Jokes Ever

I told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man: Far From Home.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?

Mentos.

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

Delyla is a bitch.

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

Hehe

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

Wanna hear a joke?

No, I'm already looking at one.

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

I give these jokes a 9/11.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?

A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?

A wheel dealer.