Worst Jokes Ever
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
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An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.