Worst Jokes Ever

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

Who is the world's fastest reader?

The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?

He was trying to get ahead in life.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.

Man: Ouch!

How do you kill Hellen Keller?

Take her on a walk off a cliff.

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?

Adolf Fit-ler.