Worst Jokes Ever
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?
It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.