Worst Jokes Ever
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
TommyInnit is a joke.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
What music do depressed people listen to?
"I Believe I Can Fly."
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
Why are emos like paper?
They cut easily.