Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?

There's none, they both don't age well.

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?

It's the only way they’ll get love.

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"

What do you call it when school starts in Africa?

Black to school.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."

One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”

One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”

You might think these jokes are plane.

What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?

He became spotless!!!

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.