Worst Jokes Ever
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."
I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.