Worst Jokes Ever
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.