Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Masturbation

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

Dwarf

When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?

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  • Two Italian men get on a bus.

    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.

    Den I come.

    Den two asses come together.

    I come once-a-more.

    Two asses, they come together again.

    I come again and pee twice.

    Then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

    A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

    I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

    What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?

    “Just beat it! Just beat it!”

    If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

    Irish

    What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

    Twin Towers

    My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

    Work

    Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

    He was a great veterinarian.

    Girl

    What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

    'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

    Woman

    A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.