Worst Jokes Ever
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
Can I get a HOYA?
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"
Me: "They are Parental Guidance."
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"