Worst Jokes Ever

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.

We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?

Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

A blind man walked into a bar, a table, and a chair.

I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.

Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."

I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?

A water gun.

What do you call a black person in a dark room?

Invisible.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.