Worst Jokes Ever
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
I'm an orphan, lol.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”