Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
My grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology." I said, "We will see about that," and I unplugged his life support.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
I'm an orphan, lol.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.