Worst Jokes Ever

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

How do you start a school shooting at a black school?

Call the cops.

My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."

The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, feminists don't change anything.

I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

Why are lesbians bad at math?

Because they can't multiply.

Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.

Two Italian men get on a bus.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."