Worst Jokes Ever
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
I hate my life.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.