Worst Jokes Ever
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.