Worst Jokes Ever
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
I am a volcano.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.