Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.