Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!