Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?

They can’t say no.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?

So they have a place to hang the air freshener.

What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?

There's none, they both don't age well.

What is a black person's least favorite word game?

Hangman.

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

Why do animators like Christianity?

Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!