Worst Jokes Ever
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.