Worst Jokes Ever
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Technoblade would love it here.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.