Worst Jokes Ever
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."