Worst Jokes Ever
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
I love rap!
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
I came here to laugh.