Worst Jokes Ever
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
I love rap!
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.