Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.