Worst Jokes Ever
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.