Worst Jokes Ever
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!