Worst Jokes Ever
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"