Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Robin's gay.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”