Worst Jokes Ever
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.