What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Can emos eat a Happy Meal?
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
