Worst Jokes Ever
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
I hate my life.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.