Worst Jokes Ever
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What do you call a Chinese billionaire? Cha Ching.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.