Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
Whatβs the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?
The clock actually comes back around.
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People π
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
Weβre bananas!
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldnβt see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? βIβm looking for the man who shot my paw!β
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
Whatβs red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
Whatβs the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
The F in orphans stands for family...
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Wanna know why I donβt make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.