Worst Jokes Ever

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.

The jury: O.o

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What's an emo's favorite game?

Limbo.

(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)

Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.

Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.

It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

A cold shoulder.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?

There’s twenty of them.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

Why do orphans become hookers?

They can call someone daddy.

What's a furry's favorite news network?

Fox!

All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.

My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.

Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.