Worst Jokes Ever
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?" Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Age is just a number, Jail is just a room.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.