Worst Jokes Ever

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

Paul's favorite car.

A Carrera GT.

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!

Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?

Because he can't run home.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!