Worst Jokes Ever

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?

Miscarriage.

Why can't you kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."

Me: Have you ever tried African food?

You: No.

Me: They haven't either.

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy.

Yes, this joke is stolen.