Worst Jokes Ever
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.