Worst Jokes Ever

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?

Answer: A chalkboard.

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!

What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?

Nemo was eventually found.

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.