Worst Jokes Ever
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."