Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
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What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"You have a great singer inside you."
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
The emo kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?