Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.