Worst Jokes Ever
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
So they could be wanted.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.