Worst Jokes Ever
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.