Worst Jokes Ever
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
He's not really dead, his update failed.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
Curry.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.