Worst Jokes Ever
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.