Worst Jokes Ever
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.