Worst Jokes Ever
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they're missing two towers.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."