Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapuss.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Why is Black Panther every cop's worst nightmare?
He is a bulletproof black man.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
what's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop up an onion.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.