Worst Jokes Ever

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

I didn't come into the prostitution business...

It came into me.

What's the difference between a knife and my life?

A knife has a point.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"

When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

What do you call a dwarf police officer?

A guinea pig.

6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

What did one traffic light say to the other?

"Stop looking, I am changing."

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”