Worst Jokes Ever

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.

I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"

Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of disabled children.

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.

I made a video game about a depressed, self-harming goth.

It's mostly unskippable cutscenes though... :/

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.